When my 7-year-old daughter Plum and I first explored Pottermore — the official Harry Potter website, which is currently undergoing beta testing — we found it both wildly exciting and a bit frustrating. The elegant art and J.K. Rowling's original text were totally compelling, and Harry's story is powerful in any medium. But we had some trouble figuring out the rules and the interface, and we ended our first session stuck in Diagon Alley. I take full responsibility.
After a week off from Pottermore, Plum was raring to get back to it. It was time to get our wand and get Sorted. We did. And once again we recorded it for posterity.
[
Signing back in, we had a look at where our "friends" were. We don't know who our Pottermore friends are in real life, or even why they friended us. They all have cat avatars — in Pottermore your avatar is the same as your pet. We're a cat too.]
(See the first installment of "Pottermore's Pioneers.")
Plum: I can't believe we have a friend who's in Slytherin.
Me: I don't know how friendly I really feel towards him.
Plum: At least he's willing to be
our friend.
Me: That's true. Should we be friends with ErisedElm?
Plum: Let's just get as many friends as we can.
Me: He has 34 House Points.
Plum: Oh my gosh, he must be a good person. I wonder how many House Points we have?
Me: We don't have a House yet.
Plum: Oh. Yeah.
[
It's pretty clear that the question of our inevitable Sorting is weighing heavily on both of us. We've discussed the possible outcomes already. I'm pro-Ravenclaw. Plum is hoping for Gryffindor. Though I sense she's also strangely intrigued by Slytherin.]
(See photos of a decade of Harry Potter fans.)
Me: Come on, let's go to Diagon Alley.
Plum: Where we've been so many times it's boring.
Me: I know. But this time...
Plum: ...we can get stuff for once. Can we get stuff?
Me: Yes.
Plum: Yes!
Me: We have 448 galleons. We're rich.
Plum: Which is like Malfoy. Darn it.
Me: We need a wand.
Plum: We also need to get Sorted. But we can't buy that. Wouldn't it be cool if we could buy the Sorting hat?
Me: Let's go to Ollivander's.
Plum: [chattering excitedly] What if we could choose the wandmaker? Like Gregorovitch!
[Gregorovitch is a legendary wandmaker. At this point I realize I'm out of my league Harry Potter–trivia-wise.]
Me: Does Ollivander turn out to be good or bad in the books? I can never remember.
Plum: Hello? Ollivander's nice!
Me: For a while I thought he was evil.
Plum: Why?
Me: Because he looks weird?
Plum: So what! Griphook looks weird. Dobby looks weird.
Me: [schooled] You're absolutely right. OK, Diagon Alley South Side. I guess they haven't opened Wizard's Wheezes yet. (See the top 10 movies based on kids' books.)
Plum: Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. Weasley's Wizard Wheezes.
[We enter Ollivander's by clicking on the faĉade of the store. Pottermore explains that Ollivander has automated the process of wand-allocation using a questionnaire, which we're about to take.]
Plum: We can't choose our wand. Let your wand choose you.
Me: Here we go.
Plum: But we can only have one wand together.
Me: We'll share.
[The questions are multiple choice. Some are basic, like your eye color, and some are more involved. What quality do you value most about yourself? (Plum goes for determination.) What is your greatest fear? (Plum picks darkness. "Unless you have a lantern.")
The result: I must say that in all modesty our wand is... pretty badass. It's made of fir, with a core of dragon heartstrings, twelve and a half inches long. Flexibility? Unbending.](See photos of the Harry Potter theme park.)
Plum: I want to get Sorted... I want to get Sorted...
Me: [clicking through scenes from the book] Shall we read about Platform 9 3/4 or keep going?
Plum: Keep going.
[We cruise through the Hogwarts Express, picking up a chocolate frog card (Dumbledore) and a many-flavored bean (sprouts) in Harry's train compartment.]
Me: All right. I think we're coming up on—
Plum: Sorting!
[The Sorting process is introduced in a video starring J.K. Rowling herself.]Me: Do you know who that is? That's J.K. Rowling.
Plum: Whoa. She looks weird.
Rowling: [gravely] "The sorting hat is about to decide which house you will be joining... The hat's decision is final. Good luck."
[The Sorting Hat appears. The tension is thick.]
Me: Its rip is very big.
Plum: It has to sing, doesn't it?
[The Sorting is, like the wand-choosing sequence, a series of multiple-choice questions, but longer. Plum takes the lead. She chooses the quality she'd most like to get from a magic potion (wisdom), what she'd most like people to feel about her (trust), what power she'd like to have (talk to animals, "because you could have an animal army!"). She chooses from a selection of magic artifacts (a silver dagger). She chooses between black and white (white) and dawn and dusk ("Hang on. What are dawn and dusk?")
The verdict arrives abruptly.](See the top 10 ways that Harry Potter will live on.)
Me: [disbelieving] Hufflepuff.
Plum: Cute! I love Hufflepuff.
[There's nothing wrong with Hufflepuff. Absolutely nothing. It's the nice House. But there's no denying that the mood in the room is slightly subdued. It's not exactly a flashy House. Those colors — yellow and black. The common room — it's underground? Off the hallway to the kitchens? And the motto: "Those patient Hufflepuffs are true and unafraid of toil." We're "often underestimated." It seems like the beta House, basically.]
Me: OK, I'm slightly disappointed. But I'm cool.
Plum: Well, at least we're not in Slytherin. And also it's OK that we're not in Gryffindor, because we're still brave. 'Cause it keeps giving us hints that we're brave. (See the top 10 most beloved wizards.)
Me: It's a pretty good choice in a lot of ways.
Plum: We don't have to be the smartest person in the world.
Me: I definitely identify with being underestimated. People often don't realize that I'm the smartest person in the world.
Plum: [punches me] We're supposed to be the nicest.
Me: Shall we brew a potion?
Plum: I want to brew up felix felicis. Something that's a good potion. Not that one of living death.
[Potion-brewing is a major activity in Pottermore, it turns out. You assemble ingredients and combine them in very specific ways, involving mortars and cauldrons.]
Me: Oh my God, this is complicated. Let's skip it and see what's next.
Plum: Oh come on! If you're at Hogwarts then you have to be able to make at least one decent potion.
Me: No wonder I didn't get into Ravenclaw. Plum: [reflecting] I'm surprised that I chose the silver dagger and I'm in Hufflepuff. I think that was even kind of a Slytherin choice. But more Gryffindor. Because Gryffindor's for brave people.
Me: True. And Gryffindor's the silver sword.
Plum: And Hufflepuff is a cup. That means that people in Hufflepuff are good at making things that go in cups, and that is liquid, and that is potions.
Me: All right, all right.
Plum: That means that you have to make a decent potion.
Me: I get it.
[I attempt to brew a sleeping draught, but I run out of time. My potion fails.](See the top 10 Harry Potter gadgets.)
Me: I was too slow. Well, we got one House Point for trying.
[We zip forward through several more scenes. We collect the Remembrall, which seems a little unfair to Neville. We wind up in the Forbidden Corridor. It requires a spell to open it: alohomora. Casting spells is also a big deal in Pottermore. When you want to cast a spell, Pottermore shows you some of the letters from the spell's name. The instructions are as follows: "Click or press the first letter of the spell using your mouse or keyboard. Then click or press the letter AGAIN when the circle around it starts pulsing at its largest." It sounds simple enough, but I have trouble with it.]
Me: When it's at its largest — come on!
Plum: Are you making the letters fall?
Me: I need to go back and read the instructions again.
Plum: Why can't you just take out your wand and yell alohomora! Go back and click on our wand and bring it to the corridor. Alohomora! I'd-like-to-do-this-tomorrow! (See photos of growing up with Harry Potter.)
[Just as I did during our last session, I get stuck. The thing I haven't figured out is that you don't just click the first letter — duh — you have to click all the letters in sequence. It just doesn't say that in the instructions. I go to the spell-practice area and practice casting incendio and failing.]
Plum: [still thinking about our Sorting] If we'd chosen the silver dagger, and that we wanted to be feared, and, um, maybe the box with Merlin's sigil on it, maybe we would have gotten Slytherin. What did we do that made us go in Hufflepuff, that's what I want to know.
Me: Maybe it's because we wanted to talk to the animals.
Plum: Animals are cute!
Me: They are cute. I don't regret our choices. I think they were the right choices.
Plum: Wanting to be trusted should have at least gotten us into Ravenclaw though.
Me: And choosing wanting to be wise. I would have thought that was a Ravenclaw choice. [I try the spell again; it's pretty unbelievable that I haven't figured it out yet.] It's not working. Plum: How do you know if it's the A that goes last or first in "alohomora?" [sings] How do you know, wo wowowowo...?
Me: I am sucking at this.
Plum: Sucking, sucking, sucking.
Me: I shouldn't have used that word. That's not a good word.
Plum: Dammit.
Me: OK, that's one. That's all you get.
Plum: Bugger. [Plum learned this word from her stepmother, who's Australian.](See the top 10 evil sorcerers.)
Me: That's enough.
Plum: Fudge. Fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge. Fudge!
Me: [deciding it's better not to react] Are we bored? Shall we stop?
Plum: No! You just have to get one simple spell right. [still thinking about the Sorting] Malfoy would totally have picked that he wanted to be feared. And Marvin, Marvin would have picked the draught of power. [Marvin is Plum's first-grade "boyfriend," though I'm pretty sure they've only ever spoken to each other once or twice. It's a love-hate kind of relationship.] Marvin and Malfoy have a bunch of things in common, actually. They're both mean. They both have yellow hair. I'm pretty sure both their fathers are mean. I'm pretty sure both their mothers are mean. And they're both nitwits.
Me: I swear to God. Why can't I get this spell to work? Would you like to try?
Plum: No. I did all the choosing to get Sorted.
Me: You did your part.
Plum: You have to do yours. (Take TIME's quiz to test your Harry Potter knowledge.)
Me: I'm like the Ron Weasley of Pottermore. My spells are sucking.
Plum: You already said it more than once. Can we pretend I'm a rainicorn?
[A rainicorn is a creature from the cartoon "Adventure Time."]
Me: Was your mommy a rainbow and your daddy a unicorn?
Plum: I take after my mom more.
Me: I think I might be ready to conclude this Pottermore session.
Plum: What does conclude mean?
Me: It means we're going to end Pottermore Session 2. Anyway, I've achieved spell potency 25.
Plum: Maybe that's just because you tried 25 times. Incendio! Your nose is on fire.
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