Most folks know who is responsible for the observation, “If you tell a big enough lie and tell it frequently enough, it will be believed.” It was Hitler. Now I am not saying all tellers of Big Lies should be lumped with Hitler, but it is undeniable that our nation is now awash with politicians repeating lie after lie, ad nausuem, and those doing it believe we will buy into it. What may be worse than this fact is that few among us are bristling with righteous indignation about being treated so contemptuously.
I, for one, am infuriated not just because folks are insulting my intelligence, but because, as an advocate for all matters related to entrepreneurship, the lies coming out of Washington, D.C. make it virtually impossible for my constituency to do their thing. Forget about how the Obama administration announced that it has “rejected” TransCanada’s proposed Keystone XL pipeline project. Word is, they may change their mind (after the election they hope environmentalists will help them win). I’m enraged that Obama et al., have loosed a killer virus across the nation. This virus is borne by lies and infects host organisms by generating chronic insecurity. You see, when business builders repeatedly hear political leaders talk out of both sides of their mouths, they become loath to invest in anything other than a CYA protection plan.
My secondary concern –the one I can address, in part— is that humans are, innately, mimics. We follow “monkey see; monkey do” laws of behavior that dictate how, for example, if we recognize that one particular monkey is getting more bananas than any other primate in the zoo, before you can say King Kong we’re aping that guy’s behavior. Most of us are conflicted about aping the behavior of a politician solely on the basis of his being rewarded, but under the wrong circumstances many of us will give-in to the urge to do so.
Fortunately, when folks who are new to lying start fibbing they sound (and act) like Tommy Flanagan; the Saturday Night Live character created by Jon Lovitz who would say anything to have others think well of him. Pitifully, the poor schmuck actually thought his ludicrous hyperbole worked: Every time Tommy told a whopper he’d remark, mostly to himself, “Yeah… that’s the ticket!” I’ve got news for you: If you want to ape politicians who look like they are enjoying life at the top, you’re buying a ticket to hell. Sure all politicians seem devoid of moral compasses yet are, nevertheless, respected. Seeing folks kowtow to politicians I understand how normal folks note that these sociopaths have lofty status and conclude that it would be masochistic not to lie, if only to compete on a level playing field.
The thing is, what liars are not aware of is that using deceit to “make it” in America is the easy part. It’s staying on top that is hard, and enjoying one’s success, long-term, is hardest of all. The Russians have a saying: “With lies you may get ahead in the world – but you can never go back,” which captures my point: Every successful person I know who used lies to make it suffered psychologically for years after his headlines had faded. Which is why I am so adamant about advising that you should never lie to advance professionally.
If you are, already, lying in or about your career, do yourself a favor: The next time it feels like dishonesty will be an expedient path to success, remind yourself of any of the following 10 reasons to walk the line, then do so:
Lying Doesn’t Work. Much of Jon Lovitz’s comedic genius derives from the ability to confront us with what we despise in ourselves (and others) in a way that breaks through defenses but does not offend. That’s why we laugh at Tommy Flanagan: It cuts to the quick. But when it isn’t Lovitz doing the lying for Tommy, we find guys like Flanagan disgusting
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Do not confuse the fact that liars aren’t regularly called on the carpet and exposed for what they are with acceptance. Long before laws of political correctness complicated interpersonal interactions beyond repair, folks were loath to scream, “You Lie” (as Congressman Joe Wilson did in response to President Obama’s address on healthcare), when someone’s nose is in jeopardy of growing longer than Pinocchio’s. Lies told to us are noted, stored in a safe place, and used when the time comes to lower the boom on the con artists we can no longer tolerate.
Lying About Others Is Worse Than Duplicitous Self-enhancement. To underscore the contention that folks know liars and loathe them, remind yourself how you reacted the last time you heard invectives being spread. If you are psychologically healthy your reaction was, “If he’s maligning Jack he’ll do the same to me…” Most folks simply feel disgusted and rebuff the malicious Yenta when he starts poisoning a person’s reputation. Me; I call them out. If you think that boasting to advance your cause is bad, bad-mouthing others or putting them down to climb to the top on their backs is universally viewed as being repugnant.
Telling The Truth Will Rarely, If Ever, Shame You. Most folks cut others slack, operating from the perspective, “To err is human…” If you try something and fail, or know you cannot prevail at a task and beg-off a priori, you show a sense of self-awareness that buys you a lifetime of second chances. Not so if you fail and attribute not making it to a dog that ate your homework or someone slipping you a Mickey.
Telling The Truth Makes You Appear Brave. It’s often difficult to tell the truth because doing so bucks conventional wisdom. On these occasions the rare individual who says, “I know everyone here believes that Wrestlemania is authentic, but I don’t,” demonstrates that he has guts and integrity, particularly if he’s drinking with a group of guys wearing Steve Austin or “The Rock” T-shirts. People fail to realize that the simple act of bucking-the-tide gets you more status points than 100 lies, fish stories, or fabrications, while making you feel good about yourself in the process to boot.
Telling The Truth Reduces Stress. While on the subject of how good honesty makes you feel, did you know that telling a lie is stressful? If you advocate a position you know is false, your body picks-up on the conflict –however minor— your mind is sensing. This negative affect then shoots a bunch of hormones into your system (owing to the body’s naturally occurring adaptation response to stress) that, if not utilized to address a physical danger, build up over time and cause damage to your circulatory system (heart, veins, arteries) and major organ systems. When you are honest, not only are stress-fighting hormones withheld, your body emits “happy hormones” (e.g. endorphins) that actually enhance your good mood.
Lying Is Harder Than Being Honest. All lies stem from either fear (of exposure, shame, ridicule) or the fact that you harbor manipulative intent. Long term, the drives that prompt lying takes a toll on us: We resent those we feel are pushing us to prevaricate and resent ourselves for feeling weak and fearful. Regardless of what starts the process, the negativity that gives rise in us to lie gets us angry toward someone or something. Thus, if you are not a practiced and proficient liar, you must not only cope with the aftermath of a lie (see, below) but the consequences of internalized ill will as well.
When You Lie, You Have To Remember Who You Duped, When, and What The Lie Was. If you are not a sociopath lying is burdensome: You fear discovery, retribution, and a host of other negative outcomes. Granted, you believe that a Tommy Flanagan strategy will pay, long-term, which is why you start fibbing. The thing is, by the time you’re done anticipating what you have to cope with (in terms of keeping your lies straight) and then start adapting to your contrivances, paranoia may be the least virulent form of worry giving you an ulcer.
When You Lie With Dogs, You End Up With Fleas. This aphorism references the type of “lying” you do to fall asleep, but it is apropos to my current concern owing to how confabulating ruins relationships. After you weave a tangled web of deceit, the coping strategy favored by many who do not wish to risk exposure is avoiding those who were the targets of their ruses. This is a highly disquieting prospect to the vast majority of humanity other than antisocial types who’ve already lost their friends owing to a history of lying, being discovered, and being ostracized. Is this what you see in your future?
If You Lie and Succeed, You Are Deprived Feelings Of Accomplishment. If shooting fish in a barrel breeds ennui, what do you think shooting targets in a rigged game feels like? Boredom + Guilt + Self-contempt, at minimum. The notion of a hollow victory doesn’t begin to describe what lying to win does to a person. Not only does the “achievement” do nothing to enhance self-esteem, it actually undermines your self-image since you must carry the burden of depriving others a fair shot at success.
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A Liar Trusts No One Else. George Bernard Shaw, the Nobel Laureate for literature in 1925, gets the Blue Ribbon for the most insightful justification for being 100% truthful 100% of the time. As he put it: The liar’s punishment is not in the least that he is not believed, but that he cannot believe anyone else.
Shaw’s remark is so dead on I’ve nothing to add to it. Therefor, I’ll close with something Oscar Wilde observed: “The truth is rarely pure and never simple” which is good news. Knowing how proud you will feel when you finally wrap your arms around the truth is another reason to never lie.
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