An extremely drunk man walks into a bar. He looks around for a while and, after staring at the only woman seated at the bar for some time, stumbles over to her and kisses her full on the lips. Shocked and outraged, she jumps up and slaps him hard. He apologizes immediately and explains, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. I love my wife and you look just like her."
Not convinced of his innocence the woman yells," I don't think you love anyone but yourself, you stupid, useless, crazy, drunk!".
"Wow this is amazing," he hiccups, "You also speak just like her."
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