PUT the superinjunctions away, I'm about to reveal which Premier League player scored most regularly last season.
Step forward Robin van Persie. The Arsenal sharpshooter banged in 18 league goals at an average of one every 98.2 minutes, making him the most efficient striker according to Opta's 2010-11 end of season stats.
Of course, to score goals it helps if you have somebody able to lob the ball in your general direction. That could be why Gunners boss Arsene Wenger is casting an envious eye at Everton's Leighton Baines.
The England left-back supplied 249 crosses from open play (six more than second best Stewart Downing of Aston Villa) and also didn't miss a single minute of action throughout all 38 games.
Manchester United's Nani was voted Player of the Year by his team-mates, probably as a result of being the most profitable supplier of crosses and through-balls in the league. The Portugal winger ended 2010-11 with 14 goal assists to his name.
Although Nani likes a good run at defenders, he could not match Charles N'Zogbia, who attempted 301 dribbles from Wigan's ranks, a full 82 more than second place Jonas Gutierrez of Newcastle.
It's probably not much of a surprise to discover that the most active defender in terms of making clearances played for Ian Holloway's Blackpool, Ian Evatt clearing his lines 430 times.
STATS AMAZING ... The good, the bad and the ugly figures from the 2010-11 Premier League season
The league's perennial bad boy, Bolton's Kevin Davies, was back to claim his crown for the seventh time in eight seasons — and in record breaking fashion too. His 123 fouls committed were the most in one season since Opta started compiling their figures.
If Davies was the sinner, Liverpool's Lucas Leiva was the saint, completeing 111 clean tackles while policing his side's midfield.
At the end of some rougher challenges was Aston Villa's Ashley Young. The flying England winger was the victim of 96 fouls during 2010-11.
His Villa team-mate Darren Bent may have been deadly in front of goal but getting there proved a little more problematical. Bent was flagged offside 67 times this term, 20 more than the next worst offender, West Brom's Peter Odemwingie.
My favourite stat belongs to Fulham's Steed Malbranque. Shots on goal 44. Goals... none. Not so trusty, eh Steed?
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