I have lived and worked in Vietnam for almost a year. I really love your truly Asian culture but I am also concerned about the family bond here.
Some young Vietnamese say that they do not believe they can change their parents’ way of thinking. So they just go ahead and do what they like since their family will understand later. I do not think this is a wise thing to do.
Take myself as an example. I have learned programming for 18 years, not because it is my interest but because it is my parents’ choice. I graduated to be an engineer but I chose to get involved in charity works. My family used to put a lot of pressure on me for taking such a turn in my life. I know they did that because they cared for me and wanted me to be happy. I tried to explain to them my decision and showed them the positive change inside of me. Eventually, my parents were delighted and let me take the path I had chosen.
Nowadays, thanks to the availability of the internet and other means of communications, young people can be exposed to different information. They are also busy studying and working and are pressured to become successful and prove themselves. Many are so involved in social activities that they forget their families.
I think this is a warning sign. The real success in life is to be able to balance work and family. Family is a foundation to build your character and future. Everything will become meaningless if we volunteer and work well but pay no attention to our own families.
Living in Malaysia and then Vietnam, I realized that young Asians can easily hug strangers or share their feelings with them rather than their own parents and relatives. Should we cry or laugh when everyone thinks such simple actions are difficult to be done among family members? Meanwhile, western youths live independently at an early age but never forget to kiss or say ‘I love you’ to their parents.
Some put it down as cultural differences between the East and the West. Some explain Asian parents only need their kids to be successful in life and do not need sentimental actions or words. But believe me, they do need us to share our feelings.
For those who find it hard to express feelings verbally, you can use small gifts on some special occasions or write love messages on tiny notes and pass them to your loved ones. It is always important to let your family know how much you love them and that you are not too absorbed in studies and work so as to forget them.
Some young Vietnamese say that they do not believe they can change their parents’ way of thinking. So they just go ahead and do what they like since their family will understand later. I do not think this is a wise thing to do.
Take myself as an example. I have learned programming for 18 years, not because it is my interest but because it is my parents’ choice. I graduated to be an engineer but I chose to get involved in charity works. My family used to put a lot of pressure on me for taking such a turn in my life. I know they did that because they cared for me and wanted me to be happy. I tried to explain to them my decision and showed them the positive change inside of me. Eventually, my parents were delighted and let me take the path I had chosen.
Nowadays, thanks to the availability of the internet and other means of communications, young people can be exposed to different information. They are also busy studying and working and are pressured to become successful and prove themselves. Many are so involved in social activities that they forget their families.
I think this is a warning sign. The real success in life is to be able to balance work and family. Family is a foundation to build your character and future. Everything will become meaningless if we volunteer and work well but pay no attention to our own families.
Living in Malaysia and then Vietnam, I realized that young Asians can easily hug strangers or share their feelings with them rather than their own parents and relatives. Should we cry or laugh when everyone thinks such simple actions are difficult to be done among family members? Meanwhile, western youths live independently at an early age but never forget to kiss or say ‘I love you’ to their parents.
Some put it down as cultural differences between the East and the West. Some explain Asian parents only need their kids to be successful in life and do not need sentimental actions or words. But believe me, they do need us to share our feelings.
For those who find it hard to express feelings verbally, you can use small gifts on some special occasions or write love messages on tiny notes and pass them to your loved ones. It is always important to let your family know how much you love them and that you are not too absorbed in studies and work so as to forget them.
Wong Soon Kit (Malaysian)
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